In my 18 year marriage, my ex-husband held all the power and control. In the years following our divorce, he harassed me legally as he drug me in and out of court for a decade with false allegations of endangering the children, cohabitation, and more BS. I learned to fear him and whatever he might do next. Just upon seeing a message from him pop up in my email inbox, my heart would start pounding, my breathing would speed up, and that dreaded anxious, worried feeling would flood over me. My body was conditioned to exhibit fear just upon seeing mail from him.
As the years passed, I began to live more mindfully, gain strength, and learn how to respond differently to him. It literally took years, but I was eventually able to not fearfully knee-jerk react to his antics and could consciously and deliberately choose my response according to who I wanted to be and how I wanted to live my life. (See blog: Responding Rather Than Reacting)
By understanding how our brains works to produce our attitudes, feelings, and behavior, we all have the power to change our neurons and lives for the better.
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